fact #2

The Wonder - Color of Clouds

fact

I am not a nice person.

What's wrong with me?

I'm at this point in my life, it's come to a point where worship songs are no longer just meaningless words you sing during church services anymore.

I find myself unable to mouth the words sometimes because of what they mean.

My friend posted this song up and he shared something similar like about how hard it was to be so selfless like this song portrays. For me, it was a different song entirely that really left me speechless and completely emotional, and this was a song that we sang during the Red Alert Camp, which is this:

It was strange cause I really couldn't just say the words or sing the song.
I just stood there, and thought of everyone I knew, and what I would do if all of them walked away.
So yeah, I just stood there, feeling overwhelmed with all these emotions. And I guess the reason I couldn't say the words, and really mean it, was because it meant something huge:

it meant that though none come with me, still I will follow. 

So a ton of people's faces and names just popped into my head and I began to weep, because it hurt so much to even bear the thought of losing anyone of them to the enemy.

  I don't know what other term to use to refer to the bad guy, 

I don't like the "S" word or the "D" word, so "the enemy" it is. 

So it took me a while, and I still couldn't say the words. So I just prayed and prayed for the salvation and safety of my friends and family, especially the ones close to me. I prayed and prayed that God would be fair and merciful to all of us, despite our shortcomings, our arrogance, our pride, our deceitful and immoral ways, I prayed that He'll still give us a chance to repent and go to Heaven, every single one of us.

I don't want to get left behind, nor do I want anyone I know to get left behind. Sigh. I can't bear to imagine even just the thought of it. I think eventually, I slowly began to whisper the words, and mean them. It was difficult, it still is actually, but it was good in the sense, it made me realize that God is God. He's not someone to follow just because everyone's doing it or because your best friend's doing it. He's God, and you should really decide if you want to follow Him or not, and if you do, start acting like it.

I learnt soo much from the Red Alert Camp. I even had this interesting encounter with someone, on the day we were about to leave. But it's late so I'll save that for another post. But yeah, this random post about this song just came about after seeing my friend's facebook. :)

Ah.

Update

Reading my previous posts, I realized, I sound a tad bit sad and deep. Haha oh well.

Just finished playing basketball for IMU Cup and.. WE WON! :)
Hee hee! It was so intense though, from the moment the referee blew his whistle, we just went for it!

I don't know, I thought I was pretty rough with my partner but everyone said I was the most gentle player on the court. Hahaha which is kinda weird. But oh well. I didn't think they were too rough or played dirty. It's basketball yo. You're bound to push around a little.

I would post pictures but it's all in Amelia's DSLR. Oh well. One more big day tomorrow morning = Netball. Eek hope all goes well tomorrow! :) waking up at 6am is not fun. Ah gosh. Hopefully, we'll come back with a gold and make Pegasus proud :)

This is just a babble post, just to dust off my lonely neglected blog. :)

Hope you're all well. :)