Dear Daddy

This year, I lost my hero. I lost a man who taught me everything I know about character, morals, medicine and life. Obviously, words can't describe how great of a man he really is, or was whatever. I am not saying this just because you know, he's passed and it was my dad but in my opinion, HE really really really was a great man.

He wasn't a man who stood by the sidelines and went 'Oh, I wish I could do that' or 'Oh, I wish I had done that'. No, instead he was the type of man that really lived life to its fullness, taking on whatever adventures he could, from boating in the largest waves I've ever seen to flying to the highest cloud in the sky. Boating, fishing, flying airplanes (controlled ones and actual aircrafts), catching prawns, fixing cars, gardening, the list could go on.

Looking back, you can't help but smile at all the adventurous and fun activities I got to do with him. I remember the infamous time we went on jet skis in the Sarawak River and FELL IN. All because my dad was having a little too much fun which resulted in us, being flung into the murky waters. Haha that was a good day, albeit frightening as hell, but a fun day nevertheless. Or the time I nearly drowned in the swimming pool in Damai Resort and my dad, who saw me struggling, dove straight in, completely ignoring the fact that his wallet and his phone were in his pocket at the time. (I remember being more terrified about the destroyed phone than the actual drowning lol.) I don't remember much from that incident, but I just remember seeing lots of bubbles and a sense a of weightlessness, then suddenly, I was being pulled back to life, to light. All because of my dad.

Sigh. As a child, you never EVER expect something like this to happen to YOUR family. Sure, the family next door, or the family you see at coffee shops or the family you just met like once, but NEVER your own. This is a surreal feeling. I found this verse a few nights before I returned home and I didn't really understand it completely at the time, but now I do.

It says:

King David said to his son Solomon, "Be confident and determined. Start the work and don't let anything stop you. The Lord God, whom I serve, will be with you. He will not abandon you, but he will stay with you until you finish the work to be done on his Temple." - 1 Chronicles 28:20


I understand it now and it scares me how true this verse is. I've never been an avid Bible reader but for the past few nights before going home, I've actually picked up the Bible a couple of times in search for some understanding. It's truly eerie and amazing at the same time, how one simple verse can sum up so much.

Anyway, for those who could not attend the church service for my dad, I'm going to include some of the major events that occurred like the incredibly moving slideshow my sister, Diana prepared for him and the awesomely written eulogy my sister, Lena spoke during the service.

To the people who attended the service to pay their respects, sent their condolences and flowers, or helped out in any way possible: I would like to sincerely say thank you from the bottom of my heart from me and my family. Though my dad has moved on, I can't help feeling a sense of serenity and bliss around me. Yes, I will continue to miss him and think about him daily, but most importantly, I hope to continue building and strive to do justice to the legacy he left behind.

Here's to a man who has really set the bar up high for me, in regards to men in general. So, yeah, tough luck trying to find a man like my dad out there. lol sighs guess you can always hope eh?

"My father may be known to many of you seated here today as a doctor, a surgeon, work colleague, flying aircraft member, boat club member, sports car enthusiast, food lover, music lover, and the list goes on as he had so many different interests in life, but for me, he was just simply my daddy.


My dad was my hero. Sometimes, as a junior doctor, you find yourself looking for senior doctors that would inspire you and motivate you to do more, learn more, to push your limits. I was fortunate enough to not have to look far because I had someone like that as my dad.


The fact that all my siblings are in the medical profession I think pays homage to how infectious his passion for medicine was. He loved his job and as children, we would listen to him go on and on about things he had learned or done or challenging cases that he had managed to make right. I know he loved working at Normah Medical Specialist Centre and I always remember what great fun and banter he had with staff and colleagues there whenever I visited.


He was a jack of all trades. In a day, his chores could include a variety of things including fiddling with his sports car, fixing a faulty plumbing system, lighting system, air conditioning, carpentry, working on his boat or playing with light aircrafts. There was nothing that he would not get stuck in or try and do. All this, on top of his day job of being a top surgeon.


I can think of so much more to say but at the end of the day, this is what I remember:


A generous man who never thought twice about helping anyone in need or giving medical advice freely.


A kind man who always found time to speak to anyone and never held grudges.


A righteous man who always stood up for what he believed to be fair and he always tried to teach us the importance of this.


A jovial man always full of jokes on demand. Whenever he was around, there would always be laughter.


A protective man, always trying to shield my mum and us from the evils of the world.


A strong willed man who never gave up even when all odds seemed stack against him. Despite all that he went through, he never complained or grumbled. He just grinned and bore it. 


A loving husband who always brought my mum with him wherever he went. She was his most precious possession. They were seldom apart. 

Most of all, I remember my daddy as someone who loved his children tremendously. He had unwavering support, encouragement and praise for us. He humored us when we were down and beamed with pride when we excelled.


I am grateful to the Pastor and the church members of Faith Methodist Church for all their help, support and prayer. My father was baptized last month and it gave him a lot of comfort knowing that he did not have to fear death.  


My hero, my daddy has passed on and he leaves behind myself, Albert, Diana, Sandra and my mother to carry on the family name. We are so proud of him, of all that he was, and all that he would have liked to achieve if times had been different. I am so proud to be my father's daughter. 


Daddy, we really miss you and I know nothing can bring you back but I really hope you come and visit us even if in our dreams, to continue to encourage us and support us as you always have. Help us use all the happy memories we have with you to keep us going.


I want to thank all of you for coming today. Your presence is very comforting to us to know that my dad was so well loved. For close friends and relatives who have gone the extra mile to help, you know who you are and thank you.


I will end with a short presentation of pictures, with my dad's favorite song.


This is really it now. Goodbye daddy. We love you."

My good friend Zoe posted this note on her facebook regarding a testimony from one of the 33 miners trapped in Chile. All, I can say is, thank you. This is exactly what I needed. Take a look:

"Jose Henriquez, an evangelical preacher who was one of the 33 miners trapped deep underground in Chile was at the heart of keeping morale high during their 69 day ordeal. He was invited to share his testimony in my church on Sunday evening. Along with him came his wife and the Chilean pastor to the prime minister of Chile.

Jose is about 50 years old plus and was working 700 metres below ground level in San José copper-gold mine in the Atacama Desert near Copiapó, Chile. I will now relate his account as I heard it.

“I was working in one of the chambers in the mine down below when suddenly there was dust all around me. More and more dust filled the area and for 4 hours there was dust everywhere. I coud not see anything but dust. After that I could see about 1 metre ahead of me and I started moving and searching for others.

Soon the dust settled and we all regrouped into a big chamber. There were 33 of us. We started organising ourselves. Some were electricians and were in charge of the lighting and others had to fix the pipes so that we could still have fresh air. The food had to be rationed. We had some fish and we rationed it to one teaspoon per day per person. Among other things were biscuits.

The others gave me the task of praying for guidance. I was the only Christian there. I said to them, “I pray to the Living God. If you ask me to pray, I will pray to him. Or you can ask someone else to pray to a dead person – but I pray to the Living God.” They wanted me to pray to the Living God. I gathered the men twice a day in a big circle and made them hold hands while I prayed. I even taught each one of them to pray. Some back-slider Christians came on the scene and repented. We prayed and prayed and sang Christian songs. I prophesied that the box of food we had would never go empty.

Once we heard the drill coming and we were very excited. But we were horrified when we realised that it missed us. It would be very difficult for the drill to find us by just mere chance. We were disappointed for a while and prayer went down but it was important that we kept going. So we prayed harder and harder and finally, on the 17th day, the drill found us! We were so excited. Some of us banged on the drill, others hugged it. We painted it to show that we were alive and then we attached messages to it. I wrote, “We are alive and there are 33 of us”.  The box of food never did go empty; when we reached the last tin of fish, new supplies dropped in from above (drill hole).

After this we did not pray much anymore because we thought that our prayers were answered already. But before long we realised that we were wrong. Although we had been located, there was still the question of how to bring us out.  So we had to humble ourselves, really really humble ourselves and pray harder. I requested for 33 Bibles to be sent down. I started teaching them the basics of the Bible. We had frequent Bible studies everyday. Those boys really sang with all their hearts whenever we worshipped God.

Those many weeks underground was an opportunity for us to grow deeper in the Lord. There were of course tensions at some points and two or three points. But I made sure that both parties recon ciliated later because no one should harbour bitterness or resentment. We requested for special T-shirts to be made for us that said “Thank you God” because we want the World to see and know that our God was with us down there. Jesus the Living God was down there with us. When all this began, I was the only Christian down there. At the end of it, there were 33 Christians with their lives fully dedicated to God.

Finally on the 69th day, the missle-like capsule was sent down to pick us up one by one. The first went in and then came out. We wanted to pray first. We prayed and thanked God and blessed the capsule for safe journey mercies. One by one up we went. I was the 24th person to reach the top.

We were told by geologists that it is a miracle that the drill found us as it did. There had been a large solid rock in the way but for some strange reason the drill went at an angle and found our chamber. We praise God for what He has done.

If you have any problems, pray to the Living God because He will HEAR you. When you are in your pit of alcoholism, depression, addiction, guilt... humble yourself, go on your knees and pray and He will answer you.”

His wife said that all the while she and family had been praying and fasting. The Prime Minister of Chile himself asked the pastor to get a prayer chain going. And today many people in Chile have turned back to the Living God."

...

"Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed for God, is with you, He will not fail you, nor forsake you, until all the work for the service of God be finished." -  1 Chronicles 28:20

Where are you?

Why don't you show yourself?

I need you.

...

I just realized how little pictures I have of you.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Day 2 pick up my shoe

1) when i crying, i prefer to be left alone instead of crowded by consoling people.

2) i hate it when people ask 'how are you?' because you get the feeling sometimes they don't really care. much like a bartender might ask a customer 'how's it going?'. they don't really care, they're just trying to make small talk. i don't like it.

3) i like to think i'm quite of a private person, so when i tell you something personal, i expect you to keep it that way.

4) i'm always very touched whenever a guy does something gentlemen-ly like offering to walk me to my car, to carry my stuff, to pick me up etc. i'm not used to it but i really enjoy it. you'll def get bonus points in my book.

5)  i feel shy and introverted in front of strangers, if i'm alone but outspoken and friendly if i'm with a group of my friends

6) i think love is overused, i think when someone's in a new relationship, they're infatuated, not inlove. love is something that takes time to grow and blossom between two people. it takes a lot to love someone, truly. (i'm so deep, i know)

7) despite being a Christian for so long, i've still never felt 'that moment' or 'that connection' with God. maybe i have, but i've never felt like God was really replying my prayers. i desperately want to have that connection, to be able to call God a friend, instead of someone you have to look to in a religion.

8) i can be sad, but when i'm with friends, i tend to completely forget about my troubles and worries, then i feel guilt afterwards. i hate that.

9) i would love to study or live in the states or uk. i always liked the idea of having Caucasian friends.

10) i'm very very touched when someone goes out of their way for me. bonus bonus points.

11) if you do something really horrible to me once, there's still a chance i'll forgive you, even if it takes me a long time to.


since it started flowing, i figured why not.

My Day 1

1) I'm sorry encik, but I could hardly hear what you were saying, I just wrote the stuff I could hear. I hope you feel better soon, wherever you may be.

2) I really don't want to join your club. I never would have imagined that I someday might have to.

3) I'm sorry I never go out with you anymore but you should know, I'm always very touched when you do find me.

4) It hurts to go back. it's so easy to forget when you're away.

5) Do you or do you not like me?

6) I hope you don't go back. But I understand.

7) I wish you weren't suffering so. 

8) I'm envious of all of you, it breaks my heart knowing I'll never have that again. 

9) I'm sorry, I think you're a very nice person but you can be so annoying when you're trying to be funny. it's not funny.

10) I dread the day we have to part and go to our separate countries :'( you're the first person i think of when i'm bored or having trouble or want to go eat or just want to have a good laugh or a great time. you mean more to me then you're ever know. :)

The 10 Day Challenge

My friend asked a bunch of us to do this post which is called 'The 10 Day Challenge.' It seemed like a interesting idea so I figured why not. It's perfect if you've run out of ideas to post stuff, other than stuff that happens in your daily life. So, go for it and let me know if you're doing it, then I'll read yours too.



Day one: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now. (dont have to specify who they are)

Day two: Nine things about yourself

Day three: Eight ways to win your heart

Day four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot

Day five: Six things you are afraid of

Day six: Five things you cant live without

Day seven: Four turn offs

Day eight: Three turn ons

Day nine: Two aspirations

Day ten: One confession

Clinic Visit to Cheras Baru

I think the clinic visits that IMU have, are really awesome. It never occurred to me how realistic medicine was, until today. You get several clinics like DBKL, Jinggang, Nilai, Dato Keramat and Cheras. My group were instructed to go to the Cheras Baru Clinic which happened to be the nearest. We got slightly lost halfway but thankfully, we managed to get to the right building. It was so small though. I felt a pang of sympathy for all the old patients who had to slowly climb up the steep steps to the top of the hill, to get to the clinic. There was another entrance where cars could enter but it was narrow and difficult to maneuverer.

I think it only hit me when an old man suddenly started conversing with me in Cantonese, while we were huddled outside the clinic, waiting for one of our group members. He was speaking quickly while pulling up his sleeve to show me this right arm. I was so stunned I couldn't speak at first, but I couldn't reply either as I only speak 3 languages, Cantonese not being one of them. It was after that when I realized that everything I had been studying was related to REAL life.

I mean, obviously, I know that medicine is about helping and treating people but because of the simulated patients that IMU has for all our clinical practice sessions, I sort of forgot the whole patient part. These were real people, with real illnesses and real symptoms. It was all so REAL.

Then, I felt terrified for a moment. Was I capable of taking their history? Was I qualified enough to even have the indecency to ask about a patient's condition?

Overall, it was a very good experience because I learnt lifelong lessons today. I learnt how to communicated with different people with different backgrounds, religions and races. I also realized how useful it was to be able to speak Mandarin fluently. I should definitely learn to converse in it fluently before I graduate. It's such an embarrassment to be a Chinese but not speak it, especially while studying abroad. People would definitely look to you if they need a translator and it's just really lame if you shake your head and say 'Sorry, I can't speak Mandarin.'

You know, my first patient was this middle aged woman who was lying down on a bed. Her left leg had a huge open wound where I could see blood and flesh. The nurses were changing the dressing. However, the woman only spoke Cantonese so she was telling Steph about what happened. According to her translations, she had been bitten by a mosquitoe and it got swollen a few days later. It got so bad, they had to operate on her leg. The most heart wrenching part of the day, was watching her face distort with pain as the nurses cleaned the wound and placed the gauze on it.

I felt such a yearning to help her but obviously, what could I do? I'm just a measly second year medical student which no qualifications whatsoever. It's really amazing, that few minutes made me really consider returning to Malaysia to work after I'm done with my studies. Just looking around the clinic which was overcrowded with people waiting for their turn, I just felt like helping them. There's no reason why someone should ever wait so long to get treated.

I just really felt like helping them, but I didn't know how.

Before we left, Kash had to take a picture. 

Off to Ampang's famous Yong Tau Foo 

 This was quite yummy though. Deep fried pork thingys

We ordered like 20+ cause we were hungry.

 No idea what this was. Some soup thingy with the same dumplings like thingys, just not in fried form.

Maybe it's a sarawakian thing but I didn't think it was that awesome

Our local photographer and guide. Haha

pray - JB

I just can't sleep tonight.
Knowing that things ain't right. - Justin Bieber


It has already been 15 days into the new year of 2011.
And things in uni are good. At least, now I feel like my lectures sort of feel more medical related.
In the beginning, in semester 1, we were learning about biochemistry, which is about as interesting as my toes.
We slaved through stuff like behavioral science which had stuff, what are the four types of memories? Or what is pain? It was torturous.
Let's not forget about pharmacodynamics and pharmackinetics, which I still have trouble understanding o.o
Community medicine was still not that bad, with stuff like how waste water was maintained in Malaysia and about maternal health etc.

BUT it still didn't feel medicine-ly enough. NOW, we're really doing stuff I feel like I can call myself a medical student. For instance, my last lecture on Friday was about the major arteries and veins in the upper limbs. The lecturer, Nilesh Kumar was good so it was a fairly okay lecture, though I did fall asleep a little in the beginning so I chewed gum.

Hm, so far this year, it doesn't feel any different. Pastor Jojo was talking about how we shouldn't be focusing on making it a great year, but a Godly one. Hmm, uni just ended with its second week. Life at the moment is good, typical university lifestyle.

Had the most interesting conversation with Pastor Tim the other night after LG. I'm still not used to a pastor, well, technically, head pastor, taking the time to hang out with the students in his church. And, he's a very busy man, I'm sure, what with his business and his ministry. I thoroughly enjoyed his humorous company and we all even went to mamak after at Steven's. The night was all laughter, well most of it at least. :) But it felt good. He gave me some really good advice which I'm praying will work.

So, so far, so good.