joyceeting Joyce Ting 5 people within 1 year. Don't know how much more I can take

So another lodgian has suddenly left us. His name is Jeremy Tan. He's a year older than me and I don't him that well personally but I know his circle and his family. The shock stage has passed, the tears has passed, now's just the empty hollow feeling you get and you don't know what to do next.

My summative's on Friday and I've got 3 systems to cover. I feel like I'm still not understanding everything fully and when I do questions, I'm like whaat. So that's not good. I still got some time but then, this happens and I really don't feel like studying tonight. 

My friends from high school started talking about how if one of them did suddenly pass away as well, that they just wanted us to know that they loved each of us. So I figured, I should write something for everyone, in case my time should come and God decides that He thinks that I'm too good for medicine or Jesus is getting old and He needs fresh blood. (I am totally kidding by the way, humour is the only thing that keeps me going. so please no thunder from the skies striking me anytime soon. )

To my family, know that I love each of you, obviously duh. We're family! Though we may have our setbacks, at the end of the day, we're all family and blood related and all. And we've been through a lot together so that will never change. No matter how old I get, I always feel like the same small fat chubby kid who is always being spoilt by everyone, around you guys. I have just one small request to God, that if my time does come, I hope it comes after my mum, cause I don't think she can handle another personal tragic loss. And also, I hope that you'll grow close to God, despite whatever circumstances that gets thrown your way cause at the end of it all, He is what it's all about. So don't shut Him out. You need Him. 

To my high school friends (OMG), I love you guys. You'll always be the group that I can click best with and just be whoever I want to be. Joel, Phoebe, my oldest friends. You guys have proven to be my angels, time and time again. Only you guys understand me without words. I know, no matter how far, no matter what, I can count on you two, especially you, Phoebs. You're my true sister in life. Joyce, Peg, Rachel, I love you all. I love it when we're all back together and just laughing at Joel or Phoebe (it's always one of the two hobos). I pray that your lives will be fruitful and amazing and fantastic and that you'll all end up marrying and having beautiful children AND still keep in contact with each other. 

To my uni friends, I'm glad we've all grown closer in this few years studying together. Yes, we have had our ups and downs but we're still friends through it all. I pray that you'll all graduate and be wonderful medical professionals someday and we'll always remember it all started in IMU, with each of us. I hope our dreams of making our children play with each other, intermarry each other, or whatever ridiculous ideas we come up with next, will come true one day. I wish all of you the utmost happiness and blessings.

Please know, no matter what happens, don't ever walk away from God or turn away. 

When I was at my weakest, He was there. 

When I was at the midst of losing my mind, He kept me sane. 

When I broke down, He just listened. 

I'm still discovering God everyday, and I'm still learning but I understand now. I understand that we all have an expiry date, so stop acting like you're going be here forever cause you're not. 

Stop hating, stop fighting, stop resisting. Life is so much more than that. 

If the wind blows hard enough, the fire within you gets extinguished. Game over. 

So, don't you think you should be happy while you can? 

Do the things you love, 

love the people around you, 

be a source of joy for someone: 

just be happy. 

You only get one shot.